I am me.
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me.
Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me.
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me -
By so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me - However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me - I own me, and
Therefore I can engineer me - I am me and
I am okay.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
I have two roommates and one of them is an absolute slob!!! I do not understand how you can live in a an extremely nice apartment and want to trash it out! My other roommate and I always clean up after her and want the place to look nice, but she just goes behind us and makes it filthy again. I don't know what to do anymore because I want to yell and shout at her and tell her that if she can't clean up after herself at 21 years old then she should not touch anything at all. Just eat out and DO NOT COOK ANYTHING!!! >:-/
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
My family is entirely Christian-either Catholic or non denominational. This makes things difficult much of the time because they are not happy with me learning about Islam. I took my shahada October 16, 2009, 4 days after my 21st birthday. Two days later my step dad was in a motorcycle accident and has been in a coma ever since. Because of this, I have decided to not tell my family yet that I have converted. They do know that I am learning about Islam and am interested in it, and they are not at all happy. I have had sooooo many discussions about how I should not be learning about other religions and there is no true religion but Christianity and I will go to hell if I convert. These are not easy things to hear. It is also not easy to listen to slander against Mohammed (pbuh) and Islam from my step dad's side of the family. I know that I need to tell my family about my conversion, but I feel very selfish if I do it now because my mom is already so torn apart. Inshallah I will find the perfect time to tell her, and even more I pray that my step dad will wake up! Ameen.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I don't know how to begin to tell my story, because it is very long and complicated. My life is amazing, but of course it has its downsides. I am a new muslimah, learning everyday and trying not to screw up too badly. I am not asking for criticizm, because I know that not everything I do is going to be completly Islamic, but I am trying. Sometimes I have moments where I am weak and I fall back into the stuff I did before I converted, but I try each day to do better than the day before. I love the new life I have found in Islam :)