There is no end. There is no beginning.

There is only the infinite passion of life.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

PPD and PTSD

I have postpartum depression. He has post traumatic stress disorder. What are we doing??? I cry a lot. I don't feel like I am bonding with my daughter. I am her care giver. I hate this feeling. I hate myself. I failed her. Her dad doesn't know what he wants. Half the time we're together-when he wants to be. And the other half? I'm alone. He gets angry when I don't call, but doesn't call himself. Everything is my fault. I went out one time and all of a sudden I'm inconsiderate. Yet he says he's coming over every day and doesn't show up. I hate what my life has become. I hate him, but I can't move on. I love him. We're two very damaged people trying to make things work. At least I am. Idk what he's doing.